Mach de Bagua    

张爱玲于1931年上圣玛利亚女中，1937年高中毕业，在这所中学度过了6年时光。作为一个20世纪的人，身世倒和几百年前的曹雪芹有相似之处，都是出自潦倒的大家族。也许，只有贫穷的挤压，才能得到精华的文字，但是对当事人来说，各种滋味并不好受。尤其是对一名处在贵族学校的穷人家的少女。在她的《童言无忌》中写道：“有一个时期在继母治下生活着，拣她穿剩的衣服穿，永远不能忘记一件黯红的薄棉袍，碎牛肉的颜色，穿不完地穿着，就像浑身都生了冻疮；冬天已经过去了，还留着冻疮的疤—是那样的憎恶与羞耻。一大半是因为自惭形秽，中学生活是不愉快的，也很少交朋友。”

这所St. Mary Girl's School和圣约翰一样同属于美国圣公会开办，最早的校址是在圣约翰大学校内。话说那时候约大的男大学生们很方便结识女中学生的，林语堂的女朋友陈锦端和后来的老婆廖翠凤(鼓浪屿的廖宅我上次没去到)都是圣玛利亚学生。1922年圣玛利亚女中搬走，原址建起了西门堂(今华东政法大学东风楼)。圣玛丽女校搬到了今天的中山公园轻轨站西南侧，长宁路1187号。圣玛丽女中在国朝被和中西女中一起合并成市三女中。但今天的上海市第三女子中学的校园是原中西女中的，圣玛利亚的女中的校园则成为一所纺织中专，后来被东华大学合并，然后又被卖出。现在这里是一片空地，只剩主楼没有被拆了。据说将改造成一块商业楼。

星期六，下着小雨，我走进了这块工地。眼前的景象让我想起了张爱玲原来在圣玛利亚女中写的一篇作文，竟然像是对今天的境况的预言，风雨之中的废墟里只有我在拍照，偶尔有轻轨进站的声音震动着地面。圣玛利亚女中，竟然真的是broken into separate fragments了。

MY GREAT EXPECTATIONS
By Eileen Chang
Time is like a sharp knife. When it is misused, it can carve hard lines on beautiful faces and wear out blooming youth month by month, year by year but, well used, it can mold a piece of simple stone into a magnificent statue. St. Mary's, in spite of its long history of fifty years, is still a simple piece of white stone briefly carved. As time marches on, it may be marred by dust, worn out by weather, or broken into separate fragments, and it may be carefully, slowly carved by the knife, inch by inch, into a wonderful statue which will be placed among the glorious works of Michelangelo. This knife is held not only by the principal, the teachers, and the students of tomorrow; but all of our schoolmates have the power of controlling it.
If I have a chance to live to be a snowy-haired old lady, I shall, in my peaceful dreams beside the fireside, seek for the old paths leading through the green plum trees which I have been familiar with in my early days. Of course, at that time, the youthful plum trees must also have grown into their pleasant old age, stretching their powerful arms to shade the crossing paths. The weather-worn old bell tower, standing in the golden sunlight, shall give out that slow, solemn blooming that is so familiar to my ears, as the girls, short and tall, pale and rosy, plump and slim, all blooming with the freshness of youth, shall pour into the church like a stream. There they will kneel and pray, whispering to their spiritual Lord about the little things in their lives; their grief, their tears, their quarrels, their love, and their great ambitions. They shall ask him to help them in reaching their future goals, to be a writer, a musician, an educationalist, or an ideal wife. And I can hear the old church tower ringing with the echoes of their prayers, whispering in return, "Yes, St. Mary's Hall may not have the largest dormitories and the best-looking school gardens among all the schools in China, but she certainly possesses the finest and the most hard-working girls, who shall glorify her with their brilliant futures!"
What I feel when I hear these words depends upon whether I have done anything or not in the years in between. If I have failed in playing my part on this stage, I shall feel ashamed and regretful that I have thrown away the privilege of glorifying my mother school. But if I have gained success in struggling along toward my goal, I will smile with pride and content, for I have taken a part, though a very small part, in carving out, with the knife of time, this wonderful model of school life. (466 words)
《心愿》 陈子善 译
时间好比一把锋利的小刀--用得不恰当，会在美丽的面孔上刻下深深的纹路，使旺盛的青春月复一月，年复一年地消磨掉；但是，使用恰当的话，它却能将一块普通的石头琢刻成宏伟的雕像。圣玛丽亚女校虽然已有五十年历史，仍是一块只会稍加雕琢的普通白石。随著时光的流逝，它也许会给尘埃染污，受风雨侵蚀，或破裂成片片碎石。另一方面，它也可以给时间的小刀仔细地、缓慢地、一寸一寸地刻成一个奇妙的雕像，置于米开朗琪罗的那些辉煌的作品中亦无愧色。这把小刀不仅为校长、教师和明日的学生所持有，我们全体同学都 有权利操纵它。
如果我能活到白发苍苍的老年，我将在炉边宁静的睡梦中，寻找早年所熟悉的穿过绿色梅树林的小径。当然，那时候，今日年轻的梅树也必已进入愉快的晚年，伸出有力的臂膊遮蔽著纵横的小径。饱经风霜的古老钟楼，仍将兀立在金色的阳光中，发出在我听来是如此熟悉的钟声。在那缓慢而庄严的钟声里，高矮不一、脸蛋儿或苍白或红润、有些身材丰满、有些体形纤小的姑娘们，焕发著青春活力和朝气，像小溪般涌入教堂。在那里，她们将跪下祈祷，向上帝低声细诉她们的生活小事：她们的悲伤，她们的眼泪，她们的争吵，她们的喜爱，以及她们的宏愿。她们将祈求上帝帮助自己达到目标，成为作家、音乐家、教育 家或理想的妻子。我还可以听到那古老的钟楼在祈祷声中发出回响，仿佛是低声回答她们： "是的，与全中国其它学校相比，圣玛丽亚女校的宿舍未必是最大的，校内的花园也未必是最美丽的，但她无疑有最优秀、最勤奋好学的小姑娘，她们将以其日后辉煌的事业来为母校 增光！" 听到这话语时，我的感受将取决于自己在毕业后的岁月里有无任何成就。如果我没有克 尽本分，丢了荣耀母校的权利，我将感到羞耻和悔恨。但如果我在努力为目标奋斗的路上取得成功，我可以欣慰地微笑，因为我也有份用时间这把小刀，雕刻出美好的学校生活的形象。

唯一还没有被拆的，就是这栋主楼了。平面呈长方形，在西北角是楼梯并有一个塔楼。墙面用伊比利亚式。冬天，覆盖了整个墙面的爬山虎都萎缩了。相信以后会和新天地一样，被改建成酒吧或者商店。

从侧面看建筑其实很简单，A字形屋脊加在矩形框上面，只有塔楼是特殊的。

这种黄色的连绵状装饰性拱遍布这栋房子的四周，加上棕榈树，颇有点伊斯兰气息。

塔楼。

爬上塔楼向南望。其实这里拆房子拆了好几年了，草已经覆盖了原来的痕迹。

延伸阅读：

汪宏声：《记张爱玲》--作者是张爱玲的国文老师。张爱玲在中学时代就暂露文学才华了。

张爱玲《同学少年都不贱》----公认这篇自传性质的小说是写中学时代的